DECISIONS

Since I have come close to having Kale and seem to think he is coming early even though I could be completely wrong and he could co me later I could have to be induced who knows. But it just really got me to thinking about how I want things to be once Kale is born. I really need to talk to Ryan about all of this stuff so we can back each other on all of this. Having both of our mothers down here, I don't mind listening to their advice but in the long run I carried this baby for nine months, he is mine and Ryan's child and I will decide how he needs to be raised and what I do with him and what I don't. I just think that me and Ryan need to talk about that so we are on the same page. Just because the grandparents give us advice and tell us how to do things does not mean we have to listen to them because they are the grandparents we are the parents and in the end we will decide what is right for our son.
I also decided even though we plan on having my mom and his mom, if she is down here in time in the delivery room with us to see the birth of our little bundle of joy, Kale. When I try to breastfeed and am working with the lactation nurse I want them out of the room. I am sure it is going to be really stressful or hard for me to get the hang of breastfeeding and I don't want a million people at once trying to tell me what to do because it will just stress me out. I will ask both my mom and his mom to leave the room and I will breastfeed the baby and then once I have done that then all of our visitors and our parents will be welcome back in the room. Also I don't want to stop there both mine and Ryan's moms will be staying with us for a week. I don't want them hanging over my shoulder when I am breastfeeding at home. So when it is time to feed Kale in a nice way I am going to say that its time and ask them to leave the room. I just think that, that is time for me to spend with my son and I don't want to feel awkward or weirded out with them being around while I am doing it.
Also while they are here I know that they are going to want to hang out with Kale especially since Ryan and I are going to be moving across the country but I carried Kale for nine months and I will finally have the chance to hold him in my arms so when I want him I am going to ask for him. I don't mind them holding him and helping but I just don't want to feel like they are over-stepping their boundaries or being too helpful. I just thought about all of this and just think that is really something that Ryan and I should talk about because I think that it is something that we should have each others backs on. Ryan and I both were raised very differently, not that, that is a bad thing but a lot of times you want to raise your children how you were raised or because that is all you know you think that your way is right so I just think that as long as Ryan and I understand that we need to have open communication and just because my mom is telling us to do one thing and his mom is telling us to do one thing in the long run it is our decision. I just really think it is something important we should talk about.
Well today me and Lou went on our second walk, I am not to sure how far we walked but it was definitely far enough. I feel like I am so out of shape, which I know I am. But I definitely want to walk to help move things along. I read a bunch of web sites on how to help move the process along today. Some websites said that walking helped and some said it didn't. I did read a lot of articles on how bad castroil is and how you should definitely not try that. That a lot of times all it does is give you really bad diaherrea and can also cause the baby to go the bathroom before he/she is born which is bad because it can cause problems during birth. It was neat because I also heard what kinds of foods can help and also nipple stimulation and different things. It was just neat reading about it all. I just really can't wait for my bundle of joy to be born and in my arms.
I have been a little worried, I am scared that I won't know when my contractions start and I also am nervous that I won't know how to count them and won't know how far apart they are or when to go to the hospital. I am just really hoping that my water will break so that way I will know I need to get to the hospital right then. I guess we will just have to see what happens but I definitely plan on talking to my doctor about it!