Night 1 of cry it out

So last night was our first night of cry it out. I say it was our first night because it was the first time we have put Kale in his bed awake and made him go to sleep with no bouncer or mommy/daddy holding him. It was just as hard as I thought it would be for me and Ryan. I explained to Ryan that I wanted him to be the one to do it; because, I knew I would cave in. I am sure Kale knows what a softy his mommy is. I am horrible aren't I? So we read him a book, fed him a bottle and at 8:15 I kissed him goodnight and daddy took him in his room. At first he was quiet and was fine. Then he realized we weren't coming back to get him and the screaming came. Normally he has started off in a whine and then it leads to screaming. Not last night he started out with full blown whailing. After we laid him down Ryan waited for five minutes and then went in there to comfort him. He would actually calm down while Ryan was in there but with the strategy we are using you can only stay in there comforting for five minutes. So everytime Ryan left the whailing began again. It was so hard for me to hear I had to walk outside quite a few times. I just couldn't take it. At one point Ryan had to walk to the nieghbors house to get their dog, Duece, that we are watching for the weekend. The five minutes of letting him cry with no comfort was up while he was away so I had to go in there. I was right when I said I am not good for the job. I am stressed about hearing him cry and Kale is stressed about us letting him cry...so he did not calm down AT ALL for me. I really think I just made things worse. So, Ryan walked in the door went in there and Kale calmed down. Pretty much this process went on until 8:45, then Kale was asleep. It was way harder than I thought it was going to be :( however; I know the end result will be amazing. I caught a glimpse of it last night. I went to bed around 9:40 because I was just beat. I woke up this morning at 5:50 to Ryan's alarm and Kale had not woken up yet. We went back to sleep and then Ryan got up at 6 ish to start getting ready. I was sure Kale would be getting up at any minute to eat. Nope..Ryan left and I waited for that to wake him up because the boy usually has a 7th sense and is up as soon as daddy walks out the door. Nope..he stirred just a little but didn't start fussing so I didn't go in there. The kid slept until 8:30 no wake ups even for a bottle :)....It was a great first night. Hopefully they will all be like this and this wasn't some kind of fluke. So, so far this whole process is going well...Let's hope it keeps going this way!!!!

Learning to go to sleep by yourself

I have been debating this whole cry it out thing. I have written quite a few blogs on it and we have tried it the past two nights. I have been really un-sure about it and it is really hard on me and daddy too! I had, had really un-sure feelings about it but know it is for the best. Today I wanted to read what to expect in the first year seeing how on Sunday Kale will be 6 months old and just see where he is at and what we can expect. While reading it I found a question asked by a mother about her child still not sleeping through the night. In the book the author said it was best to start letting them cry it out now because in the long run you will get better sleep. There are different ways to teach them to put themselves to sleep...there is the cold turkey way...or going in there every five minutes to soothe them when starting out and then increasing the intervals each night...this is the route we are going. There is also sitting in the room in a chair and each night moving the chair further and further back. However, we did not feel this was the best route to go with Kale because when you go in there alot of times it makes his crying worse; becase, you are in there but you are not getting him out of his crib. However, I don't think we should just let him scream his head off I want to atleast try to soothe him so this is why I chose the five minute way. It said not to give up on it for at least two weeks because this will confuse the baby. To give it two weeks to work but most parents see improvements from 4-7 days. I will blog on our process. It also said the different times that kids will have problems with sleep when they succeed in a milestone for instance standing, crawling, sitting because they want to practice this so it makes it hard for them to sleep. I do not want Kale to never be able to put himself to sleep. I don't want him to be two and us having to hold him to get him to sleep, or some other meaning I want him to have a bed time and us to put him in bed and him go to sleep on his own. This is probably the hardest thing I have ever done since he has been born. I really HATE to hear him cry. I have had to let Ryan do this whole thing because it stresses me out. I don't want to go in there stressed when Kale is already stressed about this because it will just add to his distress;however, I do hope to see improvement and soon because I really can't stand to hear him so upset. we have started the nightly routine which we pretty much have been doing since he has been born so I shouldn't say start; however, he gets his bath at 5...he normally gets his last bottle anywhere from 7-7:30 and before that bottle we read him a book. I really hope to see an improvement and I will blog about the process and hopefully later on the success!

Cry It Out

I hate hearing Kale cry. I am one of those moms who comes running when she hears his painful scream. I can't just let him cry. The way I look at it is he is a blessing. I mean so many things went wrong with my pregnancy. They tried to tell me I was having a tubal pregnancy and that this would affect me having a baby later on. I can still remember the pain of knowing that I had been pregnant but would not be able to have this baby. I was a mess. I cried for four days until I found out that my pregnancy hormone was doubling. Then had to wait (because of stupid Stacy who ovbiously did not care about me or my baby to get her crap together...or actually I had to get a new midwife and never see her again....to me she was the enemy..) Just all the things I went through Kale is a blessing. I know I don't have the best patience of any mother...sometimes I get really frustrated which I think every mother does whether they admit it or not. However, this little boy is my everything and I worked really hard to get him into this world and so hearing him cry just breaks my heart. My husband, however, does not feel the same way. I know I spoil him but I will tell everyone I think that you spoil your first child as a baby. You just don't know, you are learning. I am sure I run to him way too much and I am sure I might regret it when he gets a little bit older but you live and learn.

So...back to last night...Ryan had told me that he would watch Kale so I could go to bed early. He got home and started watching him. Kale and him took a nap and I got ready to go to the gym. My two little boogers slept from a little after 4 until 6:15 Ryan said. That could be one of the reasons it was so hard to get my tiny stinker to bed. He fell asleep around eight thirty. It was great!! Well I asked Ryan to move him to his bed and Ryan was looking on the internet and said he would in a little bit. I should have just moved him myself. However, I didn't. I went into the bedroom to go to sleep. I came in the living room to tell Ryan something and my little stinker was WIDE AWAKE. GRRR. Ryan said well if he was really going to go to sleep he would still be asleep (making up excuses for not moving him) YEAH RIGHT! So Ryan told me he had him and to go back to sleep. Well Ryan puts him in his bed awake..comes into our room and turns on the monitor....so much for letting me go to bed early..I get to hear my son scream in my ear and there is no sleeping through that. Ryan would let him cry for awhile go in there and try and calm him down, trying to calm him down by telling him shhh go sleep....it's ok....but not getting him out of his crib only made Kale cry that much harder...this went on for about 30 minutes...well then it was ten and time for him to eat again...if he was up which he never is but tonight was. I knew once he ate it would help calm him down and he would go right to sleep..I told Ryan it was time for him to eat but Ryan didn't want to feed him???!?!?!? excuse me?!?!??! He said he didn't want to get him out of his bed...I told him I didn't care if he got him out of his bed or not but that Kale needed to eat. Finally Ryan fixed Kale a bottle. After he fed him he went straight to sleep. However, ryan went to make sure the front door was locked and my husband is loud he does not think he is but he just does not know how to be quiet...he can't shut a door quiet...talk quietly...really anything..I love him to death but he just can't. well he somehow mangaes to slam the door or make the door make a loud noise while seeing if the front door was locked..well Kale's room is closest to the front door and it made him stir so he started crying again and continued to cry for five minutes and finally went to sleep. He actually slept decent until 4 woke up had a bottle and went back down till 7. I can't complain too much about that. I just wish he would sleep until 7 like he used to and not wake up at 4 and 5...but it is like someone told me we are on their schedule...they are in charge right now! Which is very true!

Some Serious Sleep Problems

So here for the past few weeks Kale has been having some major problems with his sleep schedule. During the day he still takes his naps just like he always has. However, at night time he goes to bed when he is supposed to 8:00-8:30; however, he has been waking up several times during the night. I mean this is worse than it was when I brought him home from the hospital. At first I chalked it up to teeth pain and thought it was waking him up in the middle of the night. I really do think that a few times in the past that is what it has been. However, it has not been like that lately. Last night I put him down at 8:30 about thirty minutes after I put him down he was screaming. I figured I would feed him because it was time for him to eat again and put him down again. That should have been the warning sign: MOMMY THIS IS GOING TO BE A BAD NIGHT...silly me didn't think anything of it. After I fed him and bounced him in his bouncer for about 5 minutes the kid was out again. I put him back in his bed and didn't hear a peep from him until probably about twelve he woke up screaming and I brought him into our room. It seemed like he was in pain because he wouldn't stop crying. I gave him some tylenol and he fell asleep in my bed. I let him sleep with me for a little bit, but the kid moves around like a little worm. He is definitely a wiggle worm. I couldn't take it anymore so I put him back in his bed. He slept but not soundly until about 4. He cried out and i went in there and he was sleeping on his tummy. I am still not comfortable with him sleeping on his tummy even though he is rolling over fine and everything. So I moved him to his back. BIG BIG BIG mistake. It woke him up and he started crying. I got him out of bed and fed him a bottle. After the bottle he was not tired. I think he thought it was time to get up and play...UMM NO! not time for mommy. He cooed and moved around and just was not sleepy what so ever. This went on for about an hour. Finally I was at my wits in he had been up for over an hour, and with him up that meant mommy was up. I put him in his bed and was going to let him cry it out. My mom told me around 6 months is when they start testing you. They had to let my brother cry it out in his crib and I wasn't going to let him think he was the boss. So he cried. The kid is definitely testing me out. He would whine and then stop like to see if I was coming. He would realize I wasn't coming and then cry again. After his whine didn't work he went to full out crying. I went in there put his passy in his mouth and turned on his mobile twice but I was not getting him out of that crib!!! Ryan got up for work and I guess heard him crying, he came in the room to see if I was sleeping through it or something and I told him I was just letting him cry. Of course it is kind of a lose lose situation for mommy because when he is in the bed playing he is keeping me up when he is crying in his bed he is keeping me up it is not like I can turn off the monitor. Ryan went in his room put his passy in his mouth and turned on his mobile. By this point I was beyond exhausted and fell asleep. Ryan came in and told me he was asleep. I could barely hold my eyes open to carry on a conversation with ryan. He said he was sorry he kept me up, and he would watch him tonight and let me go to bed early. I fell asleep for a few short minutes but not good sleep because ryan was in and out getting ready. I was finally ready to fall asleep as ryan was leaving.....well Kale had other plans...he is going through this thing where everytime daddy leaves for work he wakes up. I don't know if ryan is too loud or if kale has some 7th sense. As soon as the garage door shuts kale starts to whine...it is so weird. I listened today to see if Ryan was that loud and he isn't. I just don't get it...Most of the time I can get Kale to go back to sleep not today...awake at 6:40...Alot of people who have multiple kids are telling me this is a stage...that he is trying to show me who is boss but I am so ready for this stage to go away...My whole body hurts and I am exhausted...I can barely get my chores done during the day...but once I am up I am up so it's not like I can take a short nap...I am hoping this phase ends very soon!!!!

First Year of Marriage

On Sept. 2nd Ryan and I will have been married for a year. We made it through our first year!!!!

I will be the first to say the first year of marriage is tough. It has it's wonderful moments and it has a lot of rough patches, or at least that is how it was for Ryan and I. Which I can see why our first year had its rough patches. In the first year of marriage. We had a baby and Ryan had a major back surgery that is a lot to take in the first year not to mention the normal first year fights. I mean for the first couple months of Kale's life I had to raise him like I was a single mom plus take care of my husband who in the beginning couldn't even shower by himself. I got frustrated because as time went by taking care of a baby all by yourself definitely will put a lot of stress on you not to mention taking care of things around the house and having a husband who can't do anything. I am so glad Ryan and I made it through this first year!!! I feel like the rough parts do make you stronger!!

Ryan and I are both very bullheaded so when we fight we both want to win and neither one of us want to apologize. As time has gone on we have even gotten a little better at that, him more than me. It is hard to get an apology out of me. I don't know why I am like that. I think it is because guys can hurt girls with words more than girls can hurt guys, or maybe it is guys don't show it. So I try and hurt Ryan and then don't want to apologize. I don't know if that makes any sense what so ever but it makes sense to me.

However this has been an amazing year. It has helped me to realize that marriage is not easy. It takes work just like anything else but it is rewarding. I mean and when you really think about it ofcourse it takes work. Two people are joining their lives. Two people who were raised differently and do things differently. That has been another big thing for Ryan and I. Ryan and I both do things differently. Ryan likes clutter and just lays things places a bunch of gadgets everywhere. I HATE clutter. I can't think in clutter. So I put this clutter out of sight, half of it I have no clue what it is so I just put it in a random drawer, well when Ryan needs it I don't remember where I put it ;) ooops.... I do not shut my drawers. That is one of Ryan's pet peeves. So we have had little things like that to work through and some of them we still are but like I have said before good things take time. I wouldn't trade my husband for anything in the world. He is amazing and I love him more than anything and I am so happy that in a week we will be celebrating one year of marrige and I hope there are many more to come!!!

I guess the whole point of this blog was that marriage is tough and I have found that out this first year but the end result is so worth it. Ryan is worth it and the bad times make the good that much more special and make the bond between the two of you that much stronger!!

Sitting up with no support

Well I have been working with Kale for awhile on sitting up. He would sit like a gorilla, is what I like to refer to it as, and he couldn't do it for long. I kept working with him and then the other day I had seen people put their babies in their crib in the corner for support. Well I know Kale LOVES his mobile so I thought I would give it a try. I changed his diaper and put him in his crib. He loved sitting in his crib! It was so funny to watch him look around with a HUGE grin on his face. He watched his mobile and just looked around and was content in his crib for the longest time! Well then the next day I was sitting in the floor working with him again, like I always did everyday and he just sat up by himself. It was amazing and he did it for a while before falling back. Well I didn't expect him to sit up by himself so I did not put any pillows behind him. Well he fell back and I couldn't reach him in enough time. It scared him and he started to cry and it scared me. So for those instances when he thinks he is invincible and tries to turn too quickly or tries to look behind him...his back is not quite sturdy enough for that and he falls back I like to have the pillows to catch his fall because I don't want him to hurt his little head. I am so proud of him, but at the same time seeing my little baby sit up all by himself makes me feel a little sad. I mean he is growing up so fast and will be doing more and more and soon won't need me :( I won't be able to hold him like a little baby. He looks like a little man :) It is so cute watching him play with his toys all by himself in the floor! Now that he has accomplished sitting he wants to stand all the time. So I detect soon he will be standing or crawling!

Kale's First Word

I have not been able to write in FOREVER!!! And I have missed it so much, so much has happened in the past few months!!

Well it had been a very stressful day for me. Kale's teeth were bothering him really bad! We had just gotten back from Atlanta for Jayden's birthday; and, Kale had gotten really off schedule. The week before my parents had been in town helping my brother move in, and we had taken Kale over there and it had screwed up bed and bath time. Then we went to Atlanta he was still out of whack and did not sleep good in his pack and play. This called for a very angry boy when we arrived back home to Valdosta. A very angry boy who was VERY off schedule...plus the teeth hurting...I seriously thought I was going to pull my hair out. He had been whining all day and nothing I did calmed him...he didn't enjoy any of his toys. I had put him in his favorite toy his horse jumperoo....he loves that thing...well he was whining and all of a sudden I heard mama....:) At first I wasn't sure if I had heard right well then he said it again. I was on air. I didn't even care that he was whining I was sooo happy :) I immediately texted Ryan at work and told him the news. He never texted me back, so when he got home I told him and he didn't believe me...little stinker! Well Kale said it again when I was making dinner and he was in his bouncer in the living room. Ryan was on the couch so I said see and Ryan tried to say he didn't hear the M. I kmew he was just jealous but I waited. Well Ryan was holding Kale bouncing him on his lap because he was whining some more about his teeth and Kale said ma ma ma and there was no more denying it. Since then it seems any time he is crying or whining he says it. However, I don't hear it too much when he is happy haha I am waiting for that. Ryan I think is dissapointed he didn't say da da first and has been working with him like crazy.

Since he only says it when he whines I am ready for him to say da da so he can call daddy to help soothe him when he is sad. :) But I love that I was his first word.

I think since I am here with him all day, get up with him during the night, if he gets up with his teeth. And get up with him in the mornings I would be a little sad if he had said da da first, because mommy spends alot more time with her little man :)